Dear God

I don't have a normal posting for you today with exploration, creepy, and history. I do have more of that coming, but I've had some big life events going on. First, I moved cross country back to where I'm from. Second, I got a new job. And third, I'm buying a house. Thank you in advanced for understanding why I haven't posted anything. Just know it's not my lack of passion for my exploration, sleuthing, and writing - once I fall back into a normal routine I'll be posting more regularly. Today though, I'm going to be focusing on some philosophy, which is one of my favorite subjects. Feel free to skip this passion piece, I'll have more invigorating content for you soon. 

If you know me, which you probably do by finding this blog, you'll know my relationship with religion is complicated. I wasn't raised religious, but got baptized under the Protestant Christian church in high school. I was always into witchcraft though growing up, most people thinking it was just a phase. In college and on the East Coast, I converted to Orthodox Christianity. That's what I am to this day, and my official label. However, European Paganism, Wiccan practices, and witchcraft are all intermingled in me too. I'm spiritual and dance with several customs. I know when the bible refers to paganism, they're talking about the pagan tribes of the ancient Middle East. Jesus had never been to Europe, and knew nothing of those tribes practices. A lot of people hear the word "pagan" and scare away from it, but it just essentially means a belief that isn't Christian. Some of my ancestral roots are European, and European Paganism is my history. I know God wouldn't object to that. In fact, a lot of European Paganism practices are now seen as Christian traditions. It was a way for Christians to help convert the European Pagans, by centering their events around Pagan holidays. I mean, you didn't think Jesus of the Middle Eastern desert had ever seen a Christmas tree, did you?

There's a lot of that subject, but my point is I have no problem mixing my beliefs, because they're already mixed and have similar foundations anyways. Casting spells isn't much different than praying. A pentagram is a beautiful sign, one that represents the four elements (earth, air, fire, and water) with spirit joining them together at the top of the star. I just feel that spirit is God, but it can be anything to anyone. These beliefs aren't enemies, and I make it work beautifully for me.

Recently, someone very close to me told me they were having a baby. They're a Protestant Christian, and I didn't think much of it. Then they got strict with me. They told me their future child is going to be raised in the church, and they didn't want any of my "wiccan stuff" to be around it. 

It got me thinking about just how narrow of a view people can have. I mean, I remember being a Protestant though. I was taught to put up this wall, a wall to be proud of. That if anything goes against "God" or "the bible," it's temptation from the devil. If you don't understand the bible, or the history of it, you'd proudly go against "satanic" pagan practices, since the bible condemns Paganism. I could feel this woman's demeanor, that she was doing the best for her child by sheltering it from my beliefs. But it just made me sad - sad about how stuck someone can be in a scope they refuse to look out of. 

When I first heard the song "Dear God" by Lawless, my initial reaction was to think it was a song going against Christianity. I loved the passion in it, but felt it wasn't a good song to keep on my playlist. Then I listened to it again, and again, and again. That's when I realized how shallow I had been about it. How the passion I felt about this song was right, and I wasn't looking deep enough into the message. The song is about a person who looks out into a world full of conflict and pain, and is heartbroken. When she says "I don't believe in You," or "I can't believe in You," it's with a sense of betrayal from God - she's not saying God doesn't exist. It's like when a family member or friend continuously lets you down and you can't believe in them anymore, as in trust in their character or rely on them. That's the way this song is. She's screaming out for God to hear her pain, pleading to help the suffering she's witnessing in the world, but all she hears is silence. It keeps continuing to happen, and she's lost faith not in the existence in God, but in the trust she had for Him.

I know many Christians who would see one lyric from this song and immediately think it's an atheist mindset and temptation from the devil for them to hear. To plant a seed of doubt in their minds. And that's sad, but it was also my surface-level reaction too. The song is about someone so low on faith and they need a ray of hope. They don't need backs turned on them because of what they're feeling. Right now the church is encouraging people to abandon others who don't see things the same way they do as a way for the Christians to "protect" themselves and their relationship with God. This wall to protect yourself from doubt and "temptation" is hurting everyone. If everyone in Christianity kept listening to the song, and started to realize it's true message by hearing the cries in this woman's voice about how much she wants to believe in God, but feels she can't anymore, maybe more people wouldn't be turning their backs on the church. Refusing to listen to people's doubts on religion is not something to be proud of or strict about. People are losing faith in God, because those with faith in God aren't listening to the reasons people have doubts. There is no "seed of doubt" from Satan, and if there is, trust yourself and your relationship and knowledge in God to keep your faith strong. Christians need to quit abandoning everyone and every belief that doesn't align with theirs. They'll end up pushing everyone away, which only hurts God. This goes back to someone telling me to hide my beliefs, which is what makes me who I am. Their hard stance only does damage to everyone involved in the end. 

Dear God is a beautiful, powerful song. I hope anyone reading this can go and listen to it, and really hear it. There's so much more to it that I can't write out, but think of it like a story with chapters. It's too much for words. Thanks for reading my thoughts.